Day 338: On “I Don’t” vs. “I Can’t”

第338天： 关于 “我不 ”与 "我不能”

“I don’t” is experienced as a choice, so it feels empowering. It’s an affirmation of your determination and willpower. “I can’t” isn’t a choice — it’s a restriction, it’s being imposed upon you. So thinking “I can’t” undermines your sense of power and personal agency.

“我不 "是一种选择，因此会让人心生一种充满力量之感。这是对你决心和意志力的充分肯定。

“我不能 "不是一种选择——而是一种限制，是强加于你的。正因如此，“我不能 ”的想法会削弱你的力量感和个人的主观能动性。

—Heidi Grant Halvorson

Be careful not to say “I can’t” whenever you’re working on implementing a new positive change in your life that requires you to give up something (such as going on a diet).

每当你想在生活中做出新的积极改变，需要舍弃一些东西（比如节食）时，请务必留神，不要说出“我不能”。

Thinking of your decision in terms of a restriction (“I can’t do it”) inevitably leads to discontent and approaching your change as a short-term solution. Admitting that a change is your choice by saying “I don’t do it” lends itself to treating it as a permanent identity shift.

从受限的视角来思索自身的决定（“我做不到”），无可避免地会催生不满的情绪，并把自己的改变当作一个短期的解决之策。

通过说 “我不这样做 ”来承认改变是自己的选择，这有利于将其作为一种恒久的身份转变来对待。

A related technique you can use to give up something that’s bad for you is to associate it with the discomfort it leads to and deciding that you no longer want to suffer from it. You aren’t saying that you can’t do this thing any longer and thereby think of it as a restriction. You’re saying that you don’t do this thing because it’s your own choice, dictated by your wish to avoid the unpleasant consequences.

当你要放弃对自己有害的东西时，你可以使用的一个技巧：就是将它与它所导致的不适感联系起来，并决定你不再想忍受它的折磨。

你并不是说自己再也不能做这件事，从而将其视为一种限制。

而是说你不做这件事，是因为这是你自己的选择，是由你想要避免不愉快后果的愿望所决定的。

For example, I was once a big lover of potatoes and they greatly contributed to me being overweight. When testing how certain foods affected me, I realized that potatoes made me bloated, tired, and led to digestive issues. Just like that, I stopped eating potatoes that I had been previously eating in copious amounts at least three times a week. I’m sure that if it weren’t for uncovering my food intolerance and a conscious decision not to eat potatoes anymore, I would still be eating them. A restriction in the form of “I can’t eat potatoes” wouldn’t work.

例如，我曾经非常喜欢吃土豆，而土豆在很大程度上导致了我的超重。

在测试某些食物对我的影响时，我发现马铃薯会让我腹胀、疲倦，并导致消化问题。

就这样，我停止了以前每周至少三次大量食用土豆的习惯。

我相信，如果不是因为发现自己对食物不耐受，并有意识地决定不再吃土豆，我现在肯定还在吃。

以 “我不能吃土豆 ”为形式的限制是行不通的。

Catch yourself whenever you say “I can’t” and replace it with “I don’t” or “I choose not to do it.” It’s a small change in your vocabulary, but the way you think about your changes can impact whether they become permanent or are only short-lived.

每当你说 “我不能 ”时，要警醒自己，并用 “我不 ”或 “我选择不这样做 ”来代替。

这只是你词汇上的一个小小改变，但你思考改变的方式会影响到这些改变是永久性的还是短暂的。